If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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