About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
