I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
