we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
