so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My pussy is not your playground.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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