There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
