So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
