The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
