i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
