Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
