I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
