yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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