Your tits are I can't wait for
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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