you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
