I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
