Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
