1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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