So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
