K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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