somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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