How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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