watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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