Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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