My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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