dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize