I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
