Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
