That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
