Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
