Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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