honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize