i don't like sucking hair
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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