i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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