problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
