i already hear my dad disowning me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
operation have a gay friend backfired
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Terrible idea I love it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
