You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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