Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize