woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
