see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
