cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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