But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
