Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
