i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
