I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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