someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
