giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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