Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
