So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
