Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize