I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
