HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
