WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
