Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
