Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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