You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
