A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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