I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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