Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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