this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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